O Beautiful and Youthful One,

As Herman Hupfeld wrote (made enduringly famous in the movie Casablanca):

The fundamental things apply as time goes by.”

We agree.

How much time?

5,000 years.

Louvre Museum. Relief from the façade of the throne room, Palace of Sargon II, 713–706 BCE. Courtesy Wikimedia Commons.

Follow along!

First, though, last call on a super-cool opportunity that won’t happen again for a whole year.

The National Guild of Hypnotists’ annual August convention will start in Marlborough, Massachusetts about a week from today.

I will be there.

Ralph, my hypno-partner will be there.

Will you be there?

It’s the greatest hypnosis convention in the world.

We’re on faculty. We will be teaching you some of our best secrets!

Come meet us there! We’ll whisper a few more hypnotic secrets into your ear.

No extra charge. If you haven’t signed up yet, what are you waiting for?

Click here now to get in.

More hypnotists from the 25,000 members of the NGH attend this annual convention than the total 725 membership of the ASCH or the total 637 membership of APA Div. 30.

An amazing, astounding, event.

Now? Climb into the Wayback Machine with us.

Homer created the Iliad and the Odyssey almost 3,000 years ago. Almost 2,000 years before that an unknown creator wrote what many scholars consider the oldest story in the world. It’s name is The Epic of Gilgamesh.

The world’s oldest story centers around a king finding a way to grow youthful.  We here at HypnoticBeauty.com have found the secret.

We offer to sell it to you. Better late than never!

Yet let me take you back 5,000 years. I’m leaving out a lot to jump right to Gilgamesh’s quest for youthful.

I recommend you read the whole story for yourself.  It is better than The Leftovers. I kid you not!

Better even than a Steven King novel. (And King’s the king of great story writing.)

Ready? Now’s the time for the Big Reveal.

Gilgamesh. Per the translation of Maureen Gallery Kovacs published to the Web by The Academy of Ancient Texts (Tablet XI), here goes:

Utanapishtim spoke to Gilgamesh, saying:
“Gilgamesh, you came here exhausted and worn out.
What can I give you so you can return to your land?
I will disclose to you a thing that is hidden, Gilgamesh,
a… I will tell you.
There is a plant… like a boxthorn,
whose thorns will prick your hand like a rose.
If your hands reach that plant you will become a young
man again.”

Hearing this, Gilgamesh opened a conduit(!) (to the Apsu)
and attached heavy stones to his feet.
They dragged him down, to the Apsu they pulled him.
He took the plant, though it pricked his hand,
and cut the heavy stones from his feet,
letting the waves(?) throw him onto its shores.
Gilgamesh spoke to Urshanabi, the ferryman, saying:

“Urshanabi, this plant is a plant against decay(!)
by which a man can attain his survival(!).
I will bring it to Uruk-Haven,
and have an old man eat the plant to test it.
The plant’s name is ‘The Old Man Becomes a Young Man.'”
Then I will eat it and return to the condition of my youth.”

Got that? Well, our self-hypnosis MP3s and eBooklets do not prick your hands like a rose. And cost so little.

If you download them, from the shop at HypnoticBeauty.com, you will become younger, much younger, again.

Just as King Gilgamesh sought!

Warmly,

Wendy

PS!  Come on!

Join us in borrowing from the wisdom of the world’s oldest story.  Fuse that with our super-modern, super-scientific, techniques of self-hypnosis. Use these powerful tricks to deliciously, affordably, grow yourself younger, more beautiful and more charismatic.

Take my hand and let me take you to a place where history records kings – like Gilgamesh — risked everything to quest for.

Join the epic of history with us!

Come to the shop at HypnoticBeauty.com

Scoop up for yourself that which nobility has been questing for … for 5,000 years.

Let youth be yours.